Tentang Rintik yang Menguap di Sebuah Juni

Seperti biasa, pria itu selalu tergesa-gesa mengantarkanku menuju keberangkatan agar tidak terlambat. Dia sudah tak punya waktu untuk mengurus dirinya sendiri, bergegas mengambil topi dan jaket, tanpa mengganti kemeja kotak-kotak dan celana pendek selutut yang dikenakannya sejak tadi siang. Dengan sepeda motor tuanya, dia berpacu mengejar petang yang baru saja berpulang.

Seperti biasa, pria itu mengucap doa dan kata-kata perpisahan. Mencoba untuk terlihat tegar walau aku bisa melihat ada embun mengumpul di bola matanya. Berjalan beriringan, dia berdiri sampai batas pengantar. Dan tetap berdiri di situ walau tak ada lagi yang perlu dilihat. Dia tetap berdiri di situ. Dia tetap berdiri di situ.

Seharusnya hujan bulan Juni tak perlu sederas malam itu. Sebagian besar pesawat harus menunggu agar selamat. Bahkan sang rintik masih tak puas, pria itu kehujanan - dan satu dua tetes mendarat di pipi. Lalu menguap dalam hitungan menit. Aku tak pernah menyangka, bahwa kedewasaan tak membuatku pandai mengendalikan kesedihan. Terlebih yang dibuahi perpisahan.

Dan tentang wanita di belakangnya, aku tak pernah punya cukup kata untuk bercerita, selain... Tuhan, wanita itu melakukan pekerjaan yang paling mulia di dunia. Masih terasa betapa hangatnya dia memelukku sepanjang tidur.

mom...

Seperti biasa, doa adalah jalan - saat tak ada lagi cara untuk mengobati rindu. Satu dua tetes mendarat di pipi. Lalu menguap dalam hitungan menit.




*a tribute for mom and dad. I love you for whole of my life.

Self Note: Cobalah untuk Tidak Kecewa Terlalu Dalam

Selalu ada hari entah dalam sepekan sebulan atau setahun dimana kau seperti mesin mobil yang belum panas. Kau tidak punya cukup tenaga untuk melaju, lalu kau merasa buruk - karena sebagai mobil, kau tak mampu dipakai berkendara. Atau sebagai manusia, kau tak bisa membuat dirimu bangga sebagaimana harusnya.

Cobalah untuk memaafkan dirimu sendiri. Bukankah setelah ini kau harus bersiap untuk menginjak pedal dan memutar kemudi. Ambil kendali hidupmu. Ingatlah bahwa menjadi cemerlang diawali dengan ketiadaan yang membuatmu harus tabah menjadi pesakitan. Lalu bangkit, belajar. Ambil kendali hidupmu.

Cobalah untuk tidak kecewa terlalu dalam. Kasian hatimu harus menahan luka yang tak perlu. Siapa lagi yang akan memperjuangkanmu jika bukan dirimu sendiri? Kau harus tahu bahwa hari semacam itu perlu, karena hari yang tidak bersemangat itu tak ada bedanya seperti jembatan untuk menuju hari yang penuh semangat berikutnya bukan?

:)

Mari Bermain-main dengan Mesin Waktu

Aku sedang berada di meja kerjaku, menulis beberapa perhitungan tentang Mars dari hasil pengamatanku melalui teleskop. Aku berada di observatorium, malam hari adalah surgaku. Kau bisa lihat bagaimana bintang-bintang itu berbinar tanpa terdistorsi oleh mentari yang pencemburu. Ada banyak jurnal harus kuselesaikan, dan berbagai penelitian tentang asteroid raksasa yang diprediksi sedang mendekati bumi dalam beberapa dekade mendatang.

Aku berharap hasil penelitianku bisa menyelamatkan banyak orang, membangun kesadaran kaum awam untuk peka terhadap dunia luar, atau untuk mencapai mimpiku sendiri - dikirim untuk bergabung ke NASA atau terjun dalam misi pesawat ulang alik. Lalu tak habis-habis berdebat tentang penciptaan alam semesta, tentang bintik matahari, tentang teori dunia mengembang, tentang Andromeda, tentang akhir dari lubang hitam, tentang hukum Kepler, tentang apa saja yang membuatku sadar bahwa ilmu itu seperti angka satu dibagi dengan nol - tak terhingga adanya.

Kacamataku semakin tebal. Aku tak punya banyak teman. Berteman langit tapi tak suka hujan. Tak punya waktu untuk menyisir rambut. Apakah sesibuk itu? Apakah aku akan kesepian? Apakah aku...

Sudah cukup bermain-main dengan mesin waktu, menjadi astronom dalam sekian menit - sudah, sudah cukup. Kembali ke masa sekarang saja. Allah memberi lebih dari apa yang pernah aku bayangkan :)

Patahan #75

"Tidak ada yang menandingi rasa rindu seorang ayah terhadap anak perempuannya"

---

I'm coming home, daddy :')

So it's June.

I've realized that I only wrote one post in May. Oh, no. The orientation week has just been over, and the hectic schedule already starts. I  am used to dealing with sudden and never ending assignments attack. But alhamdulillah, life is good. I have good friends, good boyfriend. Prince William works so hard these days, it still survives though it has been 4 years with me. I consider to replace it soon :( Be patient, yeah!

Prince William :)

Having no junior makes us have no choice. We are demanded to make the organizations keep going on. I have to accept it though I'm doing it with half-hearted. It feels so bad when we are in a condition that pushes us to have no choice. It does, actually. But I'm just too afraid to be guilty. I hate to be like this.

Survive, okay? :)

Everyday Snacks!

"Wiiih rajin bener. Lagi belajar ya?"

"Nggak kok, gue nggak belajar"

Padahal...


"Tugas udah selesai belum?"

"Belum nih, masih belum ngerti"

Padahal...


"Gimana nih, gimana nih. Gue ga bisa..."

Padahal...


HAHAHA. STANERS. Never change! XD

Bubbly May ~

It's been two weeks and I start to feel attached to my class. One of the best things is learning can successfully open my eyes. I figure out that there are a lot of things that I haven't known because of being trapped by the same routine in office everyday. Besides, I don't have to try so hard to kill the boredom. Staying in my room and doing things alone will always be a good idea.

Talking about room, yeah, I have moved to my own room. Sooo happy. The theme of my room is pink - haha too girly. By the way, I successfully picked all of my packs from downstairs to my room upstairs. What an achievement for me, huks. All my body is painful and I think I have muscles now. No! Oh yeah, Prince William and Mr. Sheldon Cooper (name of my USB ports, haha) are still loyal to accompany me here. Please, fight with me, okay :)

Another best thing is about distance - it's easier to see my boyfriend now. We've been closer as his office in Serpong and it doesn't need much time to get here. I don't need to wait for a week or two weeks later to reconcile each other's agenda. But it's like a nice curse. The more I see him, the more I miss him, right? :(

Then how? Just GET MARRIED SOON! *praying* *saving money*

And at last, I still hope I can go home soon. I miss mom, dad, and my only brother - I am not ready that he grows up and approached by girls. Go away, girls! *not good* *possessive sister, huks* The good news is I already get ticket for Eid al Fitr. It's still May but the price has been that crazy... :|

Alhamdulillah. So, keep calm and enjoy every moment :)

Jet Lag - but Grateful :D

I am quite nervous to start studying in this campus again with the new status as Diploma Four STAN student. I will be here for more or less 2.5 years. It feels like I am having jet lag while I used to work in office with 7 to 5 working hours, pressures, and time runs so fast - but now here I am. I am in class with books, laptop, and more leisure time. Time walks slower here of course. Or maybe, it's just a part of adaptation, as always.

The registration was held in April 29. My heart beat fast, I couldn't sleep that day. It felt so awkward at first, haha. Most of us changed a lot, but I really missed that situation. We were gathered in Student Centre, we knew each other - it felt so good to meet friends from other institution and shared experiences. Then we were given explanation about syllabus and rules, and speech from Director. I can conclude that it won't be easy, but it won't be hard too. There will be orientation in third week. I have no idea how it will be, huksss. Break the leg! :D

I still stay in Deasy's boarding house in Pondok Jaya until today. I am really thankful to her and her family to be very kind to me. May Allah love you more and more, dear. I hope I can move to my room soon this weekend. I really can't wait. I'm sure Allah will always protect me and teach me to be patient :') Fortunately, I don't feel so lonely these days. But I still wake up too early because mister cock crows and  wakes me up before dawn, LOL. I lose my appetite too - though there are a lot of fairly-cheap-good-culinary here. Come on, not good, icha.

My class has started for three days. I start to enjoy my class. Most of them are seniors, come from various background, and some already got married, but there is no gap - and we feel much younger, haha. The lecturers are awesome. I think my brain burns after freezing for so long, haha. Please brain, be a good partner. Embrace yourself for deadlines, papers and presentations too, LOL.

My outfit style is back like 5 years ago - plain shirts, skirts, and flat shoes. Let me be a cute student, please :D I'm gonna miss my office styles, batik, heels, and some natural make up. Good bye for a while :(

I meet my old friends here too. They don't change at all, still funny and kind. We've been together for 3 years in treasury class. When I walked alone to have dinner, suddenly I met them. They kidnapped and treated me without saying where to go. "Let the employers pay. Students just keep being students" - they said. Oh please I feel like... -___- But yeah! Ah thank you, I don't feel so alone then.

And, at last - him. He will always be my sweetest one. He really works hard these days. He really cares to me. I know that he really tries. I can feel him so close to me. Please, take care your health. May Allah guide you always :')

Ready for May. Ready for new path. Grateful, fight, live younger, and cheriooo!

This is Farewell!

Friday, April 26.

It was the last day I worked normally in office before I started my study assignment on Monday. I've been officially placed in local grant sub directorate since June 2011, so it's almost two years. I'm gonna miss my cubicle, my friends, my daily duties, and my beautiful boss - she's been like our mother in office. She was very kind to me and always gave me a lot of opportunities to learn new things everyday :')

together :)

I understand that the best thing I have learned from working is about being patience. Sometimes tasks come without any stop, and I just can inhale and exhale to handle my emotion. Still, about being nice - how to treat seniors, friends, boss, or any stakeholders right. And, about being grateful - because being trusted to handle some assignments are things that should be grateful, right? It's been so relieving when I think I can't do it, but hey... I can do it. I can conquer my fears. I can do it :)

I was so sad to enter other rooms in 12th floor and ask for leave by myself. They gave me a lot of beautiful prayers and advices. My co-workers treated for dinner in Bandar Djakarta, we took some pictures together, and had short boat trip as facilities provided there. After dinner, they delivered some notes and testimony for me. It made me touched. They loved me. Ibu Rita hugged me and suggested me to get married soon, LOL. My head section said he was proud of me :') And I cried when Mas Agung started to speak. He was my best brother, a really good friend who helped and taught me a lot in office. Friend to argue, friend to share, thank you. Thank you :')

Mas Agung :D

three warriors of section two :D

I was ready to move on. Cheerio!